Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
