In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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