he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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