the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
zippers are such a cool invention
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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