Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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