i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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