You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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