so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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