Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
high people should be assigned attendants
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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