That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
