Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
