I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
