She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
