Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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