Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Someone signed my nipple.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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