my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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