I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
