btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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