this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize