Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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