Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize