good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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