Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
