your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have aggressive nipples.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
