i just wanna soil my oats bro
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
MIDGETS
????
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
