She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Farmville is her only friend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
