What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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