i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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