she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
