hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i think i just lost a toe
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
