All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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