well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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