Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The Olympian is in my bed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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