Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
