You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
