So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
