she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
