is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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