i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
