I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
