i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
