I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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