nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
