is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
