and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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