i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
being pregnant is like rehab
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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