bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
