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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah i got into a fight with my man last night

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  why can't men just shut up and put out?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.

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• (347): View more from New York

  She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

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• (281): View more from Texas

  JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US

  (281): View more from Texas

  WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW

  (281): View more from Texas

  THE REISLING ATRACEX US

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.

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• (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!

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• (530): View more from California

  He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night

  (785): View more from Kansas

  and flaming arrows and vodka

  (785): View more from Kansas

  how did we not set your garage on fire

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• (646): View more from New York

  The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it

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