dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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