There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize