can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
