Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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