But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
