Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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