She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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