exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
did you just send me my own nude
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
