Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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