From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
