I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
