Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
