The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
