if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
