My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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